Is Nehirim for You?

Nehirim builds community for GLBT Jews, partners, and allies.   We celebrate GLBT Jewish culture and spirituality at weekend retreats, local programs around the country, and long-term projects like our mentoring program, women’s groups, grief groups, and local Shabbat dinners.

Many people wonder: Is Nehirim for me? And what is it like to spend a weekend in the country with 120 GLBT Jews (plus non-Jewish partners and some straight allies), many of whom you may not know? This page is meant to give you a snapshot of a Nehirim retreat, together with video interviews of some of our participants (coming soon).

Religious Diversity

First, Nehirim is a very diverse community, and we’re committed to maintaining that diversity. Religiously speaking, a Nehirim retreat is among the most Jewishly pluralistic places you’ll ever find: we have secular and cultural Jews, we have Orthodox Jews, including some Hasidim; we have conservative, Reform, and non-denominational Jews, we have Reconstructionist Jews, and Renewal Jews; we have Jews by choice, questioning Jews, and atheist Jews. We truly have Jews of all stripes and ethnicities, and a large number of multi-faith families whom we fully welcome and include.

In terms of our own religious practice, our retreats feature traditional davening (prayer) and learning, as well as alternative spiritual practices, such as meditation and yoga. Our workshops range from innovative panels on queer theory to beis medrash (traditional Jewish school) style of learning. We are proud to have many queer Jews who are doing their first “Jewish thing” in decades—and we are careful to translate and transliterate all the Hebrew we use.   At the same time, we have many frum Jews attend our retreats, and we also provide very detailed halachic information so that you can ensure that our Shabbat and Kashrut practice meets your needs, or take additional steps to do so.

Demographic Diversity

We are also diverse in terms of age, gender, ethnicity, and geographical background. Our retreats generally have an even distribution of attendees in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s, with some in their 60s, 70s, and some teens as well. (Children under 18 may attend with a parent/guardian, and many of our retreats have full childrens programs.) We have nice Jewish boys who happen to be gay, queer dykes who happen to be Jewish, Jewish men who happen to be trans, lesbians, bisexuals, Butches, Femmes, Bears and twinks, and many genderqueers and others who prefer not to be labeled at all. We have people of all physical abilities, classes, and political persuasions. We are the most diverse Jewish community any of us have seen—and our faculty, programming, and staff reflect this. Within the demographic trends of the Jewish community, Nehirim is ethnically diverse, and committed to full, warm inclusion. And we come from all over the country. Naturally, our Northeast and West Coast retreats draw primarily from those geographic areas, but we’ve had folks come from Canada, Denmark, Israel, South America, and most of the states in the Union.

In other words, you’ll find people like yourself at Nehirim — and also likely run across people unlike any you’ve met before.  So, if you believe that diversity is exciting, enriching and fun, you’re in the right place. Coming to Nehirim means living respectfully and having fun with a diverse group of people, and is an invitation to question assumptions and expand your horizons — while, of course, eating delicious food, singing Shabbat songs, and relaxing by a lake in the country during our rural retreats, or having an evening out in the city together during our urban retreats.

Is Nehirim only for “spiritual” people?

Nehirim does have the word “spirituality” in its tagline, and we believe that spiritual practice, construed widely, is an essential part of being human. What that means, of course, is up to you. For some people, spirituality means a connection with God — and we offer amazing, ecstatic davening (prayer services) to enable that. For others, it might mean taking time to walk in the woods, or trying yoga, or learning a Jewish text, or forming an intimate connection with another person — and we offer all of those forms of practice, too.

As with our Nehirim community, you will find aspects of our spiritual programs that are just right for you, and aspects which will be new, and some aspects might even provide a new challenge. Because we are such a diverse community, our spiritual practices are also diverse. Some of what we is “touch feely,” and some is intellectual. Some is heart-centered, and some is body-centered. Some is text-centered, and some is hands-on centered. But you can rest assured that no one is ever coerced to do anything, and you can always choose your own adventure if what we’re offering doesn’t work for you. We invite your active participation, and your ideas, and we also encourage you to carve out your own spot at Nehirim.

What if I’m not out? / What if I’m totally over the “coming out” thing?

People come to us at all stages of their life journeys. Some have been out for forty years. Some are college students who have been out since they were 12. Others may still be coming out — and some are still in the closet in their home communities, or their families. Nehirim is a safe space for everyone. We offer support and resources for people going through these difficult transitions (if you’re just coming out, click here for some of those), and if you’re out, loud, and proud already, we offer the kind of queer community that many people have been waiting their whole lives for. Just read some of our testimonials.

What’s the hidden agenda?

Honestly, there isn’t one.  Nehirim is an independent, nondenominational organization.We started this thing as a grass-roots volunteer project, and only later grew into the national organization you see before you now. We are here to offer you tools to take the next steps on your Jewish journey, whatever that is. We at Nehirim do not have a particular destination in mind for you; just the desire to share and create community.

Nehirim does all of this — the retreats, the spirituality, the culture, the whole thing — because we think being queer and Jewish is a gift, not a predicament. We are not a political or advocacy organization, we’re not here to convert you (in any way), and we’re also not here to be assimilated into a mythical Jewish monolith. We think that by celebrating who we are, in life-affirming and rich ways, we enrich our own lives, and, in turn, also enrich the Jewish community as a whole.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us, and if you like, we can put you in touch with another 43 year old Reform Jewish lesbian from Park Slope, or another frum transguy, or another person who shares your background and, like you, took the leap of faith and came to their first Nehirim retreat.

We hope to see you soon!